Gazoyngas a plenty! Back pains she had many!
For such knockers hooters funbags boys were not even ready
She could hold your beer! Without hands she could steer!
Smack a grown man in the face so hard he's shed a few tears!

GHOST BOOBS OH YOU HARDLY KNEW ME
GHOST BOOBS OOH WE HARDLY KNEW YE

It was a fad diet! She had to try it!
Chrissy Snow looked pretty hot, so Thighmaster?
Just buy it!
A paid membership at the bulldyke gym
Cuz her boyfriend liked Sue Powter so why not impress him?
What she didn't foresee was that her big'uns would flee
Her thighs and gut both stayed the same but she could now see her knees
Her boyfriend he did weep!
He thought her twiddles would keep
But they didn't know that they would come back in her sleep!

CHORUS
I thought I was fat
So I went on a diet
If I knew that they'd split
I would've never of tried it
A-Whoa..yeah!
(x8)